Day two.. the first post!

Hey!

So, it's now day two.. I'm doing surprisingly well.

The first I decided to stop smoking was Monday night, just before Desperate Housewives..it was an incredibly long weekend throughout which I did nothing but play Angels Online and smoke

cigarettes non-stop ... this made me feel disgusting, a feeling which I get many times when I sit at the computer and smoke constantly..

also a feeling I get when I dr

ive to work in the morning and can't help but light several cigarettes, drastically reducing how pretty I smell from my shower and .. the freshness of my breath.. and etc.

um.

The first morning after w

as incredibly interesting.. I just kinda..pushed my way on.. I had a half pouch of tobacco there in the kitchen, which I placed out of reach.. but um. I had a shower, expecting the worst.. I got in the car, expecting the worst, I drove to work, expecting the worst.

I don't know if the worst ever really h

appened. One thing I decided not to do this time was to make a big deal of it; I've done it in the past and sure it makes me feel pressured to live up to it, but I dunno, I just didn't want to this time.

Carla's first smoke break ... ot oh, what would I do. Welp, I made a coffee, and walked out with her. As we c

hatted, I was surprised that I didn't have overwhelming urges to scab a smoke off her, I wasn't even trying to inhale all the seco

nd hand smoke around me, I was ... pfft, lol, probably thinking about Angels, but hey what's new ey? :D

The day went on, I came home, and finally reached my 24 hour mark. I told Mum on the phone, and remember feeling incredibly surprised at how far I'd come, with retrospectively... such little difficulty.

I went for a jog, this made me feel good. well, actually, I didn't like the music player I had to use because the wires went everywhere, and I wish I didn't bring the jacket, even though it was cold I was able to keep a decent temperature while I was active.

I've had a lot of problems focusing.... like... looking at spreadsheets, I have to push myself to keep concentration without my mind wandering.. sigh. see, I don't feel like finishing this boring sentence now.

What else..

Reasons I want to be a non smoker!!

• I want to set a good example for Dylan!
• I want to keep nice skin on my face as long as possible
• I dont want to stink like a filthy ashtray
• I think I will have more self-respect if I quit
• I will feel clean.

I'm just about to reach 48 hours. The scariest thing happened about an hour ago.. I think it's safe to say it was my STRONGEST most FIERCE craving.......... I came so close..... my brain what.. my brain thought it wanted a smoke, my brain TOLD me it wanted a smoke, I started to believe that I did want a smoke but I KNOW THIS ISNT TRUE..... I called Mum, and Nana, and went for a jog....... and no

w, I'm eternally fucking grateful that I didn't have that filthy cigarette..... I have done a clean 48 hours and I am incredibly proud of that. Next goal is 72 hours!

I am a fantastic person!

I hope my skin stays pretty. I like my skin when its not red and blotchy.