Things I like so far..

Things I am enjoying .....

1. I like not having the smell of smoke on my breath
2. I like sitting at the computer and not seeing tobacco everywhere.....with the stale smell of ashtray
3. I like breathing in deeply, and even if I do feel some icky bits in my lungs, I know that they will be getting better and not worse.
4. I am enjoying all this energy that's for damn sure!!! Feels like I'm on drugs dag nammit
5. That's about it for now. I am enjoying being a non-smoker.

Things I hate about people

Well, apparently, I feel like typing a lot. Things I hate about people.. people who strut around and ARGHH I don't have the right words for this. PEOPLE WHO ACT LIKE OTHER PEOPLE GIVE A SHIT ABOUT DUMB SHIT..... wow..so articulate... people who put on Facebook on their fucking status like OOOh.. you know what? I'm fully home from work and I'm fully gonna go out clubbing..and like ... all they want?!?! is for other people on facebook to click 'I like this' or to comment back.. like this is the underlying motivation of all human interaction.. it's like..we all want attention, there is no denying it.. I think the problem is that some people are happy to sacrifice their dignity in achieving this. YOU KNOW WHAT all you people who set their status's on Facebook to absolutely pointless shit that noone cares about.. YOU KNOW WHAT???? hah.. actually, I don't have anything in particular to say anymore.

Hum.. what else to type about... not much is on my mind really.

I think, the thing is, people go around life just assuming that other people want t

o hear what you have to say.... am I the only person in the boat.... where like... I run into countless people where.. I simply.. do not want to hear what that person has to say.. I don't care what that person may have to say, yet.. social courtesies exist and APPARENTLY I'm meant to greet that person, and engage in ridiculous fucking small talk.

Maybe this is why I'm socially awkward.

You know what? If you come up to me and try to offer me the social courtesy of asking how I am.. I'm not going to bore you with the fucking details that you don't even want to know..you just ask..because you're supposed to..because society tells you thats courteous..

If someone asks how my weekend is... you know what you're gonna hear? "good." When I answer with "good." people seem to expect me to elaborate.. so now we have the problem of I'm doing YOU the favour of not boring you with the fucking details. and you have a problem with that? You want to hear more? You want to hear about my weekend? No.. you don't, so why the hell do you even bloody ask? sigh. Social courtesies?

This is why I don't ask people how their weekend was.................. I don't really care.... does this make me a bad person?

This is why I don't ask people how their easter was,

how their christmas was, because.. I just don't care..do I lack empathy? Does this make me a bad person?

Here is my message to the gay stereotype. As it currently stands, I am a gay man who does not SMOKE, who does not DRINK, who does not DO DRUGS, who does not have shameless undignified filthy buttsex with randoms all the time.... TAKE THAT GAY STEREOTYPE.. I FUCKING BEAT YOU.. What's more??

I have a fantastic personality to top it all off. Hahahahaha ;D

Day two.. the first post!

Hey!

So, it's now day two.. I'm doing surprisingly well.

The first I decided to stop smoking was Monday night, just before Desperate Housewives..it was an incredibly long weekend throughout which I did nothing but play Angels Online and smoke

cigarettes non-stop ... this made me feel disgusting, a feeling which I get many times when I sit at the computer and smoke constantly..

also a feeling I get when I dr

ive to work in the morning and can't help but light several cigarettes, drastically reducing how pretty I smell from my shower and .. the freshness of my breath.. and etc.

um.

The first morning after w

as incredibly interesting.. I just kinda..pushed my way on.. I had a half pouch of tobacco there in the kitchen, which I placed out of reach.. but um. I had a shower, expecting the worst.. I got in the car, expecting the worst, I drove to work, expecting the worst.

I don't know if the worst ever really h

appened. One thing I decided not to do this time was to make a big deal of it; I've done it in the past and sure it makes me feel pressured to live up to it, but I dunno, I just didn't want to this time.

Carla's first smoke break ... ot oh, what would I do. Welp, I made a coffee, and walked out with her. As we c

hatted, I was surprised that I didn't have overwhelming urges to scab a smoke off her, I wasn't even trying to inhale all the seco

nd hand smoke around me, I was ... pfft, lol, probably thinking about Angels, but hey what's new ey? :D

The day went on, I came home, and finally reached my 24 hour mark. I told Mum on the phone, and remember feeling incredibly surprised at how far I'd come, with retrospectively... such little difficulty.

I went for a jog, this made me feel good. well, actually, I didn't like the music player I had to use because the wires went everywhere, and I wish I didn't bring the jacket, even though it was cold I was able to keep a decent temperature while I was active.

I've had a lot of problems focusing.... like... looking at spreadsheets, I have to push myself to keep concentration without my mind wandering.. sigh. see, I don't feel like finishing this boring sentence now.

What else..

Reasons I want to be a non smoker!!

• I want to set a good example for Dylan!
• I want to keep nice skin on my face as long as possible
• I dont want to stink like a filthy ashtray
• I think I will have more self-respect if I quit
• I will feel clean.

I'm just about to reach 48 hours. The scariest thing happened about an hour ago.. I think it's safe to say it was my STRONGEST most FIERCE craving.......... I came so close..... my brain what.. my brain thought it wanted a smoke, my brain TOLD me it wanted a smoke, I started to believe that I did want a smoke but I KNOW THIS ISNT TRUE..... I called Mum, and Nana, and went for a jog....... and no

w, I'm eternally fucking grateful that I didn't have that filthy cigarette..... I have done a clean 48 hours and I am incredibly proud of that. Next goal is 72 hours!

I am a fantastic person!

I hope my skin stays pretty. I like my skin when its not red and blotchy.